November 7, 2003
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More on NPD–Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Constant readers will recall that as part of my therapy, I have been blogging about NPD, the symptoms and my erratic progress in transcending them. In this installment, I intend to try something a little different, as it appears that I have managed to manifest a whole new symptom of the darn thing. But first a little background.
If you are not familiar with the disorder–and most people aren’t–it is said to be caused by parental neglect–specifically, the lack of mirroring as an infant. (“Mirroring” is when the baby goes “goo gah” and the mother or someone goes “goo gah” back. If you are a parent who never talks baby talk to your kids, way to go–according to the experts, you have given them all NPD. But I digress.) Symptoms include lack of empathy, desire and attempts to dominate and manipulate others, a grandiose and inflated sense of self, inappropriate self-disclosure (I once met a guy with NPD and 15 minutes after I met him, he was pulling up his shirt to show me the scar from his war wound; another guy spent half an hour at my stand telling me all about his geneology for no apparent reason), overly dramatic presentation of emotion, attention-seeking, a sense of entitlement and a bunch of other stuff. Lots of serial killers have NPD, as well as entertainers, drug addicts and alcoholics. Oh and bloggers, can’t forget the bloggers. (If this is ringing any little bells with you, take the self-test at www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv. There are several tests out there, this is the best I’ve seen.)
Anyway, I seem to have given a little twist to a combination of the entitlement thing plus the socially rebellious thing. I’m not sure how to verbalize it, but an old joke springs to mind that may serve as an illustration. Guy walks into a bar, orders a drink and sings out, “When I drink, everybody drinks!” So the barkeep gives out a round to the house. Guy says “When I drink again, everybody drinks again.” Another round for the house. Then he slaps down a twenty and hollers out “And when I pay, EVERYBODY pays.” And so it is with me.
In the course of my life, I’ve gotten away with a lot of crimes–all types of theft, burglary, jaywalking, assault with a deadly weapon, drug using and selling, DUI, mopery with attempt to gawk–heck, once in my youth, I even bought a new stereo with state scholarship money that was just supposed to go for things like books and tuition. The only real reason I haven’t killed a bunch of people is because I couldn’t figure out how to get away with it, and have no desire to spend a lot more time behind bars. Been there, done that, got the nerve damage from the handcuffs.
But when I DO choose to obey a law, it really really offends me when someone else has the temerity to break that law. Take littering. Boy, do I hate litter, and litterbugs. When I see some slob fling a bag of half-eaten Pig Macs or something out a car window, I could cheerfully shoot him. And cruelty to animals. That’s another offense I absolutely do not tolerate, especially sexually mutilating dogs and cats in order to keep them from acting like dogs and cats–I think they call it “spaying” and “neutering.” Whatever it it called, it is sadistic and perverted. Anyone who has an animal sexually mutilated should have it done to him or herself–let’s see how they like it, the bastards.
And talking about sexual mutilation, if there was a hell, there should be a special place there for parents who have their male childern sexually mutilated–they call that “circumcision,” and that is another horrible pracice that should be stamped out. The only reason they do it is to make it harder for the poor guys to jerk off, another sick legacy from the Puritans and Victorians. I understand that some people actually claim that their God wants them to do this, which is really fucked-up. Female circumcision is lots worse, of course, but that mostly happens to people who aren’t white, so no one really gives a shit about that, except maybe for some of the victims.
I seem to have strayed off-topic a bit here, and maybe that is still another previously-unknown symptom of NPD–the inability to stay on-topic in one’s own blog. Maybe I could get a federal grant and look into this further. Then again, maybe I should just shut up.
Comments (6)
Very interesting…. I’m borderline myself.
I don’t know whether this is just a case of my misunderstanding your intent (again) or whether you truly did stray ‘way off-topic. When I read that “When I…, everyone…” thing, I thought you were headed toward talking about the way you had been trying to enable Doug’s and my addictions to help justify your own.
Hmm that test really didn’t work for me. It gave me a low on everything except for a high in “Histrionic.” In my family I am rather shy in social settings and only dominate conversations with my best friend sometimes.
This is interesting. I have to say that I also agree with your other opinions. I did eventually “fix” my animals and didn’t really think of things in quite the same manner until now, however, I was considered odd to have not fixed my female (cat) until she’d had 3 litters… the vet found me odd in that I will not fix an animal until they’ve at least gone thru one cycle of life…..here I go digressing now…….oops, better take that test….how can I be low self esteem, doormat, victim and also be NPD too, that’s what I’d like to know………….hmmm………I don’t abide litterers either…..ppl raz me about the state of my car and I say, “well it isn’t on the ground, is it?”….hmmm
PS. When my son was born I was against circumcision. My mother, a licensed practical nurse was, and still is, phobic about non “cut” men, they aren’t clean, yada yada…..I disagreed and felt that that was only a matter of training. My ex spouse insisted and (oh what a shocker) the hospital took his word over mine. Even though I didn’t agree with it, they did it anyway. I guess because I don’t have a penis, my opinion doesn’t count in these matters…anyway… I can still hear his days old screams from the next room and since I was against it in the first place I was rather bitter for awhile.
*thinks* Okay maybe I still am a bit. My point is, I agree with you here, also.
Hi Kat here, met you on another forum! I’m interested that the traits of NPD are similar to some autistic traits. I have a son who has been diagnosed as autistic, though mild. I know that from the day he was born I sensed he was different in this respect and never had that mother baby response, eye contact etc. that you describe. I know that this wasnt neglect from me as it as it cut me up that he didnt respond like my other children had in this respect and the lack of response was definitely from him. It can be overcome by sensitivity and perserverence, ie. giving that love when it isnt returned and they eventually ‘learn’ it. I dont doubt that this type of neglect will cause these responses in a child but just wanted to put another standpoint really! Cheers, Kat