December 6, 2005

• Fie on thee, APFS!!!!

  
  

  I decided to eschew my usual profanity this time, maybe because I am wearing a cross earring.  (Now there’s irony!)  Anyway, this is another in a series of rants excoriating sleazy business practices–this time, in my own back yard–almost literally.  Just up the hill from my cabin is a new big box store that is destined to fail–Alaska Premium Food Source.  It is inconveniently located , the parking lot has these confounded curbs that make it almost impossible to get into the handicapped spaces (more irony!), the store itself is cavernous and uninviting, and the prices on food are not competitive.

  
  

  Anyway, they had this big ad in the paper about a rebate deal, where you get a check next year for 2% of your total spending for the year.  This is great for them–it lets them track your buying habits–with the push of a few buttons, they know which of their customers are alcoholics, which have cats or dogs or little kids, and so forth.  Anyway, I figured I might save a few bucks because they do have a few spectacular bargains–generic Xantac for less than 3 cents a dose, for instance.  And Splenda, which everyone in my family uses.

  
  

  I went in to sign up this morning and gave them the usual information–mailing address, physical address, social security number, PIN, DNA sample, naming rights to my first-born son–the usual post-9/11 stuff.  Then I read the fine print.  There was a $15 annual  fee–the ad did not mention this vital bit of information.  I went no further, said “never mind” to the clerk.  She pointed out that it wasn’t really a charge, but it would be deducted from the rebate check.  I didn’t feel like pointing out to her that meant I would have to spend $750 in order to get nothing, and spending $1000 would give me a whopping five bucks back!

  
  

  So you can kiss my grits, APFS, and run your scam on someone who needs to remove their shoes to count above ten!

  • 3:43 pm
  • 4 Comments