January 20, 2005

• Wasilla Gun Show

  Only in Alaska, I think– a gun show at a high school. For one brief
  shining weekend a year, the halls of academe are stalked by bearded,
  camo-clad men reeking of testosterone and Hoppes #10, and wielding
  automatic weapons.  God, how I love it!

  I may as well get the bad news out of the way first,  One,
  profits were lousy–it was my second-least lucrative gun  show
  ever.  This was especially galling since my hopes–okay,
  expectations–were high,  due to a number of factors.  The
  show itself was centrally-located and well-publicized.  And two, I
  had a greater stock than ever–lots of high-end Columbias River and
  Buck folders, plus oriental sword sets and battle-axes.  What’s
  more–for the first time since going into business–I was set up to
  accept credit cards.  All of this added up to my hoping to do
  $500-1000 better than average–as it was, I did maybe $500 LESS than
  average.  And on top of that, four knives were stolen from me over
  the weekend.  One had a $114 tag on it, the others were
  cheapies.  Still, it rankles.  Some day I may splurge on a
  nice little glass-topped display case.  But I digress.

  The show got off inauspiciously.  Dealers could not set up the
  day before ,the way we can when gun clubs run the shows, so the doors
  of the high school opened to us at 5 in the morning.  I was too
  keyed up to get to sleep the night before, finally went down around
  midnight, woke up at three, got up at 3:30 am.  This turned out to
  be good–when I got to the school, I discovered that I had three
  tables, instead of two, and only enough clothes to cover two .  So
  I went back home, no big deal, and got not only some extra clothes but
  also some extra merchandise–mostly belt buckles and hematite
  necklaces.  This turned out real well, since I made close to $100
  selling the buckles and necklaces.  What’s more, on the way
  out from the school, I saw a moose in town, calmly eating a tree
  between the high school and a neighboring church.  That was neat,
  and I would have missed that AND the extra sales had I been prepared in
  the first place.

  Notable at the show was what didn’t sell.  As a rule, I move
  three to six survival knives–sold one this time.  I usually sell
  a few triple-threats, an awesome (and illegal in seven other states)
  fighting knife with twin saw-edged blades and a sharpened serrated
  knuckle guard–didn’t sell one.  The last show, I sold out on Buck
  Eccos, that being a very high-quality folder with a half-serrated
  sheepsfoot blade and a plain drop-point blade.  I got them on a
  special close-out sale from one of my wholesalers, so I can sell them
  for half the suggested retail and still make an acceptable
  profit.  Didn’t sell a single Buck this time. I DID,
  however, sell two oriental sword sets–both to other
  dealers–and two battle-axes.

  And I got rid of a few white elephants; that is, items that become
  nuisances, like the Chinese-made kukri.  I had it in stock
  for  over six months, got the  thing by accident in the first
  place–one of my wholesalers has non-English speaking sales reps and I
  place my orders by phone, so misunderstandings abound.  Anyway, I
  finally sold that.  And I had a lipstick knife, one of those
  novelty items, looks like a tube of lipstick, but when you turn a
  little metal collar, a knife blade instead of a lipstick
  comes out.  That drew a lot of attention for months  but no
  buyers; finally, someone stole the damn thing, now I don’t have to deal
  with it any more.  And I was pleased to have sold four of my pot
  knives (HUH?).  That is, knives that have an illustration of a pot
  leaf and the motto “Hey, at least it isn’t crack.” Complete with a
  handy metal box perfect for keeping your stash in.

  Best of all was not what I sold, but what I purchased.  Money was too 
  tight for me to buy a gun, as is my usual custom.  Otherwise, I would
  have snapped  up a sweet little Beretta that I have seen at the last
  three shows.  OR the fairly awesome four-barreled .357 magnum
  derringer.  And there was a .38 special Colt revolver that felt good in
  my hand.  Oh well. . . .But  this is one of the more open gun shows
  (some of the more anal-retentive ones are quite restrictive and
  snobbish about what one can sell), and I found a  whimsical little
  glass paperweight, hand-made and rather old, in the shape of a bird. 
  Paid $2 for it.  Another dealer had an old Schrade jack knife, one of
  the little two-blade peanuts with faux stag  handles–I got it for
  $4.    And here I must get defensive.  I see nothing wrong with taking
  advantage of someone else’s ignorance, when the someone else is selling
  something for far less than its value–like the guy who bought a  chair
  at a yard sale for $2, and it turned out to be a Philadelphia
  Chippendale, circa 1770, worth well over a grand.

  In one fell swoop, I got a Buck, two Schrades, and an awesome
  hand-made sheath knife from one table.  The sheath knife, about
  which I will blog in detail at a later date, and with a picture
  courtesy of the web goddess, was worth maybe $300-600.  The Buck
  was a model 112, just like the classic 110 lockback, only a slightly
  smaller and more convenient size.  It was in perfect shape and
  razor-sharp.  New, they retail for around $50.  The Schrades
  were bigger lockbacks, clones of the Buck 110 actually–one is an Old
  Timer, the other an Uncle Henry.  I don’t know what they were
  worth, but I am offering them for sale at $20 each. Anyway, all
  Schrades are more or less collectable now that the factory has gone out
  of business.  The Buck and the sheath knife are MINE, all mine, I
  tell you, moo hoo hoo ha ha ha.  Ahem.  Anyway, the dealer
  asked for $40 for all four, which I gladly paid, and scampered away
  before he came to his senses.

  Meanwhile, I am keenly looking forward to the next gun show–March
  5.  And if I can possibly swing it, I am going to get that Beretta!

  Then you can call me Bond.  James Bond. 

  And I will have that chocolate malt shaken, not stirred.

  • 6:28 pm
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