April 12, 2009
-
Advice
Here is some advice to guys on what women to avoid, based on some fifty years experience.
1. Clothing is a good clue. Avoid women wearing t-shirts that say things like “death to the penis-wielders,” “testosterone sucks,” or “condom-free blow jobs, $20.”
2. Hygiene is important. Avoid a women whose nose ring is dripping green pus.
3. Avoid a woman carrying a sword, unless you are at a D & D con, or an SCA event.
4. Breast-feeding an infant in public is a good sign. It means she is nurturing, and may be a desperate single mom. Avoid a woman who is breast-feeding another woman, or a pet.
5. Avoid a woman with a swastika tattooed on her forehead especially if you are Jewish, UNLESS you are a member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
6. Avoid women with webbed hands, especially if they have matching gills.
7. Avoid a woman wearing camo and carrying a gun, UNLESS A) you are also wearing camo and carrying a bigger gun or B) you are in Alaska.
8. Avoid a woman who has a beard, UNLESS A) the circus is in town or B) you are in Alaska.
9. Avoid women who pay too much attention to the wrong things, like a women who has braided her arm-pit hair.
Finally, never have sex with a shemale who has a bigger penis than you do. This may lead to all sorts of unexpected complications–like finding out you are gay.
Comments (4)
Sound advice!
this is hysterical.
where is the tipping point with a shemale once you realize, as Crocodile Dundee would say, “that ain’t no sheila”? So far, I have never taken any “surprises” home but facing a life of singularity in about a year from now..these are all great things to know…
with the permafrost dissappearing, might have to go with a group and hug some trees untouched by beetles in the hopes that we can all Kum By Ya the environment back..then again, without change, there is no adventure..
I always heard that in Alaska it is a custom of the Inuits to have guests sleep with the wife overnight..at some point “in Alaska” do many criteria become irrelevant?
join http://www.shotse.com
New site and old members from totse are joining there too!